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February 14, 2005 Being Here.It HurtsBeing at school is such a hard thing to get through every day now. I hate everything here as well as everyone here.
I walk through the halls feeling more alone than I've ever felt in my life, looking at people conversing with their friends in their little groups. I feel like I'm the only one that doesn't belong in one of those groups. I see the people that have been my friends in the past.and I don't really miss being friends with them.but I feel rather that I'm missing out on what they're doing, whether I want to do it too or not.
I feel like a lot of people here are stealing my identity from me. I have my own way of dressing, my own way of thinking about things, and my own way of being who I am. When I see someone (especially someone that I used to be close with) doing something that reminds me of myself.I feel HURT and as if the one thing I have has been taken away from me. I hate this so much. I am so horribly depressed, and I feel like there's nothing here for me other than one exception-the boy whom I am in love with and loves me.
So, when I'm taken out of that comfort zone, and put back somewhere where I don't belong-or somewhere that has been taken over by false advertising-I feel this horrible sense of self-hatred, severe depression, and SO SO SO lost. I am so lost. I am so lost. I am so lost. I am so lost.I am so lost. My name is Matthew Bunkall 25 from Haverhill, England.I have just Stumbled onto this site and have been moved by your deep cry for help!I was that lost about 2 years ago, the girl I deeply loved said she wanted out!
I had stuck by her through her family problems, through her move to University which was a big thing, Then she was raped and her dad had a major cancer scare. I had stuck by her through it all. Things began to settle down her dad was given the all clear and she seemed to be coping well with the rape issue we were working it through each day.
Then she suddenly wanted to restart her life, and I was not going to be part of it. This left me badly broken, and at lose.
But it was something I had been always found with her, dispite all the good things I did like trying to be there, using the little I had to do the best I could to show how I felt. But she couldn't see it. She would see that I was more bone than muscle, couldn't do anything the way she could, therefor useless, she loved me emotional but she didn't love me all heart. I did understand.
She was a few years younger than me, trying to find herself. But in her finding, I was losing.Love makes us feel secure with ourselves and with others. Real love is not flattering words it is something that is always there for you no matter what.Real love is unseen, because it is there somemuch that you become to used to seeing it that you don't really notice it anymore.Life will never be simple but being able to see real love around you, will help you to feel more confident and happier about your life.And about school. Fitting in is simply being prepared to be around those that are different you don't need to change to fit in. I have never seen any fruits change to fit in my nans fruit bowl, the Apples, Pears, Grapes, oranges and bannanas. They are all fruit, all very different and all taste good.Forgive my many words but I hope it will encourage you.
Look for real love.Look into the Bible that show a great definition of love. If Jesus Christ was real then someone has aways loved you deeply. This is were I began to find a real love.
I'm not broken anymore infact I am better than I have ever been.Love MattPosted by: Anonymous at March 15, 2005 8:20 AM. To the depressed author: Your entry sounds so much like me it was amazing. I know exactly how you feel don't think you're the only one with such raw, painful, alien emotions.The best thing about you -and what they can never take away- is that you are different and not like Everyone else.
Please keep that close to your heart because it's the truth.I hope from the bottom of my heart that fortune finds you and your life and self will improve soon. Good luck with life. Janay in FLPosted by: Janay L. At April 6, 2005 9:17 PM. I am very, very glad picking the thing that is rewarding for you.
And I do think it to bring up a point though at what point are you, are any of us, being taken advantage of for our willingness to volunteer? AND at what point must we demand pay for what we do?
Does it undermine to always give it away for free? Does it undermine other who require pay to give it away for free? Greater, larger questions, of course, and not easily applicable to specific situations, but still. Does it reach a point where if we value it financially, no one ever will?
An interesting here in town talks about this on occasion on her blog:Posted by: at April 28, 2016 1:42 AM. Excellent points in the comment section about the effects of psychoactive drugs on the human mind.
It's likely that some of the mass shootings in the last 15 years or so could be at least partially attributed to the deinstitutionalization of mental health and the rise in prescribing mind altering drugs. It should be noted, that as deeply disturbing and horrific these killings are, it would appear that this year is still within the 30 year average. This has a graph showing mass shootings since 1980.Posted by: at April 28, 2016 2:35 AM. Bohammas,Consider yourself blessed that it's 8th graders. Here in the deep South, they have full fledged kindey-garden gradidiotions.
Itty bitty caps, gowns, rolled diplomas with ribbons, etc. They coach the cute little tikes to flip the tassel, just like the college graduates.
With pictures taken after the ceremony! Argh!I want to puke every time I hear one of these grandparents say, 'my grandbaby just graduated.' I ask which college?I don't know who is dumber.
Them stating that it was kindey-garden or me keeping on falling for the baby gradidiotions.Posted by: at April 28, 2016 12:39 PM. My husband and i got quite thankful Edward managed to round up his studies using the ideas he made while using the blog.
It’s not at all simplistic to simply find yourself releasing secrets which usually the rest have been making money from. And we also fully understand we now have the blog owner to thank for that.
Most of the explanations you made, the straightforward blog navigation, the friendships you assist to engender – it’s got everything remarkable, and it’s really assisting our son and us do think the article is cool, which is seriously indispensable. Many thanks for everything!Posted by: at April 28, 2016 3:53 PM. But that’s not how this works in the real world. Some of the activity would move to Brooklyn, but most of it would move to a different city, where the market could accommodate the level of proximity firms wanted. The jobs wouldn’t move to Brooklyn; they’d move to London or Hong Kong. And New York’s tax revenues, population, and wages would be much lower.So to be clear on the Paris example, you’re endorsing a model in which the central city is a tourist Disneyland populated mainly be the very rich, while the poor rot in high-rises far from job centers? Perfect!Posted by: at April 28, 2016 6:56 PM.
I guess we all get tired of the normal routine and have complaints about it. As someone who drives to/from school/work during rush hour everyday (not in HK), driving starts becoming a chore and starts to get tiring. I actually wish I could take public transportation to get around, but it’s just not a feasible option for me. Despite the crowds, the smells and the timing issues of public transportation, at least you can have some time to do things, like reading. If I could take a bus or subway or whatever every day, I’d probably have an extra 3 hours to do things.Posted by: at April 28, 2016 11:54 PM. Print on Demand CD’s and DVD’s with Kunaki Lance Smith Co-Creative Great goods from you, man.
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Whilst on a yacht charter in Croatia guests can visit islands such as Hvar, which is arguably Croatia’s most fashionable island complete with 16th Century fort, designer hotels and palm-lined beaches. The Kornati Archipelago is a collection of 89 islands, islets and reefs that have been given national park status. Brac is the island for guests keen to tackle some challenging windsurfing conditions, whilst the resort of Zlatni Rat, on the island’s south Coast, is a good place to go for scuba diving.Posted by: at April 29, 2016 11:06 AM. I wish that concept worked here in South Georgia. I have a friend who tried to start one. He and his wife set up a store front in an old remodeled gas station his family owned.
They did okay with the store front, but couldn’t get enough interest in the membership. Probably because in this rural area everyone knows someone with a huge garden not to mention u-pick places. I want to do something on the place my wife and I purchased from my sister and her husband, just haven’t decided what yet.
I am experimenting with some bees, have to see how it goes.Posted by: at April 30, 2016 4:05 AM. Isn't it a great feeling when our kids are happy with what they're doing.
So good to hear that Doodlebug loved her teaching experience.Sorry about your weather. We woke up to 41 degrees here and it's supposed to be in the 60s all day. By Tuesday we're back to 80s, but for now.And I agree with you about those mosquitoes, especially when we hear about West Nile these days!Hope you have a good weekend.
Our granddaughter goes home today, after having been with us for the week.Posted by: at April 30, 2016 12:31 PM. They would leave my site to research online reviews, etc.
That allows a significant chance of finding a similar business while they’re doing their research and choosing to spend their money there.In response, I added links to my homepage for my review pages (Places, Yelp, Yahoo, Bing) and social media pages that all present in pop-out/new page. That way people can do the research without leaving the site.
If they aren’t there, people will probably leave to find them and probably not come back.Posted by: at April 30, 2016 2:24 PM. This by-election result has nothing at all to do with Federal Labor and everything to do with NSW Labor which is arguably the most corrupt regime NSW has ever seen. If there is a reflection on Federal politics it is that the NSW Right is dominant within the Feds still and it is this presence that prevents the ALP from becoming a party of genuine social democracy.I see Richo is on Q+A this week. I’d watch but I don’t have a puke bucket deep enough to hold my disgust.Posted by: at May 1, 2016 8:00 AM.
I understand your argument. However, I shudder to think what would happen if the Bill of Rights did not apply to the States as you argue. For example, as a resident of California, I am certain to lose my 2nd Amendment rights to bare arms. Finally, I strong support the concept that the Federal Government exceeds its lawful powers. Moreover, the Executive Branch usurps Congress and the Constitution as if to demonstrate that America is lead by a dictator.
Our system is broken, and I believe it will take another revolution to fix the problem. The Political classes will never relinquish power without a fight.Posted by: at May 1, 2016 5:05 PM. Salve, lavoro da quasi 9 anni in un'azienda metalmeccanica, assunta e bloccata al 3° livello senza superminimi o altro, ma da circa 4 anni sostituisco un collega che aveva la stessa mansione che ora svolgo io ma a differenza di me aveva il 4° livello, ottenuto poco dopo aver iniziato questa mansione. In base a questo, non avendo nient'altro in aggiunta nella paga, posso richiedere un aumento di stipendio o di livello? E in caso la risposta fosse negativa, posso provare con una vertenza?Grazie, S.Posted by: at May 2, 2016 6:26 PM. A co-worker suggested I try Three Olive Grape. In his words it was the bomb.
So i ran to the store and brought a bottle. I sat down with my best friend and cracked it open. We tried it straight up. We tried to mix it with various sodas and juices but we still thought it was disgusting.
It had a very harsh taste that was rough on the throat and a very bitter after taste. It did not taste high quality. It tasted like something a kid that wants to get drunk would buy. Absolutely horrible.Posted by: at May 3, 2016 5:59 AM.
Ross, I really appreciate your perspective. King had a profound understanding of the nature of poverty, i.e. I wrestle with attempting to make the greatest impact, whether here serving the homeless or in Honduras working with the poorest of the poor. The question I pose myself and for which I have little resolution is: how do we (the church) address the systems/structures and simultaneously value and serve the individual? I hope the church comes up with more “answers” than I have thus far my repertoire of problem-solving. God, give us all discernment and compassion.Posted by: at May 3, 2016 4:25 PM.
What makes sense for one person may not make sense for another based on your financial situation. If the stars are lined up properly, a Chapter 7 bankruptcy is sometimes the perfect solution to your financial woes. If you fit the profile for a Chapter 7 bankruptcy, the main drawback is the negative impact on your credit score; but let’s be honest here.
If you are this close to filing bankruptcy, your credit is probably not that great to begin with. Sometimes the only way to rebuild a house is to tear it down and start over, which is what a Chapter 7 bankruptcy will allow you to do.Source: jessewhitelaw.comPosted by: at May 4, 2016 1:29 AM. Sawsan, one of the food memories I cherish the most was breakfast in former Yugoslavia (Krk Island), where I had the utmost pleasure of eating Kaymak (not sure of the spelling). It is that same cream you described, but lightly salted – spread on toast or good bread, warm from the oven. HOnestly, I thought I had died and went straight to heaven!Now I would love to find this special type of phyllo dough, but I’m afraid it might be impossible in the US.
What a fantastic dessert, I am here just trying to imagine the complexity of flavorsamazing post, Sawsan thank you!Posted by: at May 4, 2016 2:18 AM. Kathy, i thoroughly enjoyed this series! Since i kind of have to improvise with my sewing space (kitchen table), i love to look at people’s spaces who have designated sewing spaces!!! I have to say that while i loved peeking at the sewing spaces, what i found myself drawn to in.every. picture was the sewing machines. I was so curious as to what sewing machine these talented folk were using, why they chose it, their opinion about how it sews, etc.
I know that this series was a lot of work, but in the futuremaybe a sewing machine one??? Thanks so much for all you share with us!Posted by: at May 4, 2016 6:49 AM. I agree, saving income on the web or in genuine daily life is one particular of the most essential items proper now.
With the way the economy, job condition, fuel rates and housing sector are everybody is attempting to save a dollar the following and there. I believe that how to preserve cash and how to be a greater shopper need to be a class taught in substantial school.
So that youngsters can have an even opportunity and fully grasp what takes place to money when they have to pay their private costs.Posted by: at May 4, 2016 7:25 AM.